we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
