i used baking grease as lip gloss
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
