It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
