dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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