Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
