I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
