people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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