What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
not ubering you a puppy
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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