Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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