Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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