This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
