we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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