I hope mine doesn't look like that
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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