Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
