This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
