yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
She announced her abortion via fbk
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
