Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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