it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
