I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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