Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
