I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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