Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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