just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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