First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
