i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
