Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
