brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
