I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
