I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Do vagina's smell?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Randomize
