Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
