Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
