I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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