All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
