if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
