I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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