Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
