Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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