ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
