I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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