"it" just moved
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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