how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
