i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
