Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
