your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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