do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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