You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Randomize
