My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
