my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
