i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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