Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
